Positively Midlife Podcast

GREAT Winter 2023 Reads - Ep. 37

February 15, 2023 Tish & Ellen Season 2 Episode 37
Positively Midlife Podcast
GREAT Winter 2023 Reads - Ep. 37
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Show Notes Transcript

It's still winter and it's a great time to curl up with a good book! 

 Co-host Ellen loves to read; calling it a MAJOR addiction and she loves to share her favorite books with you! This week  Ellen shares the surprising pick by her book group, and why she adores her local library, and Tish and Ellen give a review of 5 great books and a few honorable mentions. 

Join us to explore some amazing books to read this winter. The five books are Booklovers, Violeta, Rockaway, Demon Copperfield, and Memphis! 

BOOKS IN THIS EPISODE
Book Lovers  

Violeta  

Demon Copperhead  

Memphis 

Rockaway 

Tiny Beautiful Things 

Paris Apartment 

Vera Kelly 

Money, a Memoir

Things we talked about in this episode:  Surfing, Groundhog Day, memoirs,  Charles Dickens, David Copperfield, Libraries, Punxsutawney Phil, Spring, Goodreads, Spare by Prince Harry, Bitty & Beau's, Isabell Allende, Emily Henry, Barbara Kingsolver, Diane Cardwell, Tara Stringfellow, Gentleman of Moscow, women managing money. 

Support us with a monthly subscription and get a quarterly live  Q&A with Ellen and Tish.

Obsessions
Tish: Bitty & Beau’s.  It is a coffee shop that is run by people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. 
Ellen:  The Fairfax, California Library - Ellen's happy place. 

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Ellen Gustafson:

Hey, Tish, do you believe in Groundhog Day?

Tish Woods:

Yes. You know, I've had so many of those myself.

Ellen Gustafson:

So true. Well, Punxsutawney Phil our sage weather procrastinator extraordinaire, he emerged last week. I know say that three times fast. He emerged with a little help from his handlers to make his forecast last week. And you know, he gave you east coasters, another six weeks of winter. So crazy ice storms across the US. And so I thought it was a good time for the Winter edition of what we are reading. What do you think,

Tish Woods:

exactly? Well, to our listeners outside of the United States, because we do reach 29 different countries. I just want you all to know, we have this tradition here in the US of predicting how long winter will last. And it's done by a groundhog, this small, little animal. And so the that's the the origin of Groundhog Day. And the day keeps repeating itself. So it also has other implications people refer to when something keeps happening over and over as a Groundhog Day. But I have to share that the South Carolina weather is already starting to get a little nice. And so I'm just hoping that Phil, who's only right 49% of the time, by the way, so I don't know why we're still listening to Phil, but I hope he is wrong this year.

Ellen Gustafson:

I hope so too. And you know, as a transplanted east coaster, I've always felt guilty here in California, if the sun is out to not be outside doing something.

Tish Woods:

Well, you know, I've made a commitment to reading and doing it during my morning routine. And I want to talk about some books that I just finished today as well. Great.

Ellen Gustafson:

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I think one of the books you're going to talk about is my recommendation, which I love. But before we get to these great reads, and what we're reading, let's get to our obsessions. You know, this is the part of the show I love the most Tish, what do you got for me today?

Tish Woods:

My obsession this week is a little coffee shop called Bitty and Beau's. And this is a coffee shop that is run by people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. And the originators of the store. Amy and Ben,Wright. Were parents of four really lovely children, the oldest child has autism. And they actually have two younger children that were born with Down syndrome.

Ellen Gustafson:

Wow, the Wrights discovered that I think through this experience, 80% of people with with these types of disabilities are unemployed. And so in January 2016, they opened their first coffee shop. Right?

Tish Woods:

Exactly. The goal was to have people with disabilities become more valued, more accepted and included in in every community. And the first store employed 19 People with disabilities.

Ellen Gustafson:

I mean, this is incredible. You're you told me about this. I had no idea and today, they have 23 shops, 12 states 400 employees. And I think you told me they have great coffee too. And treats and rainbow bagels. And, you know, I know you had to buy something when you were there, right?

Tish Woods:

Yes. So when when I went in and ordered my coffee, the young gentleman goes, would you like a souvenir cup? And you know, I said yes, and he goes, this is the first souvenir cup I sold today. Thank you. He was so adorable. But it was just so heartwarming. And I brought a friend with me who had never who wasn't aware of the store. And she just loved it because they truly they are running the store. And instead of asking for your name or whatever, they give you a playing card. So I had the queen of hearts. And so when my order was ready, they go Queen of Hearts Queen of Hearts.

Ellen Gustafson:

I love that. Yeah. Because you know, Starbucks always messes up my name, but I love the Queen of Hearts, my friend you are the queen of hearts

Tish Woods:

Right? Right. So if you ever see a Bitty and Beau's I'm telling you take the time to go in. Get a cup of coffee in one of their beautiful rainbow bagels. They're just so cute. I love that's my obsession this week. But what about you, Ellen, what's your obsession?

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, my obsession is going to be no secret here in our winter reads. I am obsessed with my local library. And out of the books we're going going to talk about today, everyone I got at the library. So I went to get the book Memphis that I'm recommending today. And everyone at my library is so amazing. They have a find area where you get like the latest book you would want. But you can only have it for seven days. And it's always stocked with best sellers. And they also have this librarians recommendation section. And that could be old books, but maybe books you haven't read, and I love to get those. And then finally, when I went there last week, my local library had a sign that said, make a Valentine's Day with a mystery book. And they had a table with about 10 books with like, you know, the brown paper, just the plain. And somebody had drawn hearts on them and funny little things. And it was for Valentine's Day. And it said, it's like a blind date, but with a book.

Tish Woods:

So you don't know what you're getting you just kind of going on that blind date and hoping for the best.

Ellen Gustafson:

Exactly. I mean, during COVID, they did almost the same thing where they had a table outside with these little like paper lunch bags. And there were three mystery books, books, you didn't know not all mystery, but and you could grab them, they were paperbacks that you could come and go. So anyway, I'm just going to put a little push out there for people. If you haven't been to your local library, go check it out. It is just a wonderful place with lectures and books and great librarians just right there to tell you what they like and what's new and help you out.

Tish Woods:

You know, I've got to admit, I don't think I've been in a library since my kids were younger. And you know, I think I need to go back. I think I need to do that. Now. You know, I tend to book on tape sometimes. But a lot of the books I've been reading lately, you know, usually have to do with our podcast. So I'm writing notes in the corner. I don't think I can do that with a like my library books. But, you know, I've really made a commitment to being to reading more. So I think I have to get another updated library card. You've inspired.

Ellen Gustafson:

Okay, glad I did. Well, I know that you get a question from all of your friends Tish, which is about have you read anything good lately?

Tish Woods:

You know, I love when people ask me that so and it's you've become this guru of what to read. In fact, the last episode that we had, in 2022 spurred a number of our friends and listeners to let us know how much they love your particular selection of books. And they'll always say like, you know, what's Ellen saying? It's good to read this time. So they want to know what your new picks are? Because you're so dead on to what women in midlife really like to read? Yeah, that

Ellen Gustafson:

makes me feel so good to hear that and, you know, our friend Linda Duran, shout out to Linda. You know, she sent us a photo last time of her reading the book that one of the books I recommended, which was so fun. And I loved hearing it. So, so happy that people enjoy getting a recommendation.

Tish Woods:

Yeah, she that was the Gentleman in Moscow book, and she absolutely loved it. So I think she is definitely waiting to hear what some of your reads are. So you aren't we know that you're such a huge reader. And you could probably recommend 100 different books. But how do you how do you typically when you go to do one of these episodes, how do you narrow it down to just a handful of what we're going to talk about today?

Ellen Gustafson:

No, I mean, there's just so many great books out there. But I really take a look at what I've been reading and a site that I follow called Good Reads just had their annual 2022 Best of 2022 So of course I took a look at that as well. But I pick across a number of genres. So there's fiction thriller historical, and I also have a couple honorable mentions which are a few other books I really enjoyed but we don't have time to talk about all of those today.

Tish Woods:

Well, I'm ready let's get started with your book group read what was that?

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, this month we are reading spare by Prince Harry but a number of us we had to put it off and it was an interesting selection by the book group

Tish Woods:

yeah you usually very like deep you know usually not know how to exactly say it but very like in depth stories, very complex stories. So that is a little bit more like you know, mainstream media story.

Ellen Gustafson:

It's true. I really love my book group. Gals, be because they push me to read things that I may not choose myself. And I think that's a good way of saying it. But who doesn't want to know all the workings of the royal family? Tish? Right. I mean, it's no and all over the news. And I've been surprised by this pick. I think it's gonna be good, though.

Tish Woods:

You know, I do have a lot of listeners from England as well. So there'll be curious to hear that. And I don't know, the US is just obsessed with Harry and my Meghan. And I don't know, maybe because we felt like we're, you know, the underdogs or something like that. We're Team underdog. I'm not sure what it is, or affinity or they they pick to live here or something. But we just love them. And, you know, are always kind of rooting for them. So

Ellen Gustafson:

I think so. And so I think this one's going to be really interesting. And if anybody's read it, please post on our socials, let us know, right on our Facebook page.

Tish Woods:

Yeah, you know, I'm supposed to read that book to the for a local group that I keep saying I'm going to start reading for so maybe I can squeeze it in. But I want to know, what is your first book selection for us?

Ellen Gustafson:

My first book selection is a book called Book Lovers. And it is a holiday romance. And, you know, as a book lover myself, I was immediately taken in by this story of New York space sisters, Nora and Libby. And Nora works in the book industry. She's a cutthroat workaholic, book editor, right? And, but it's a sister story. And I love sister stories. So they actually take a month off of their lives to go to this place. Sunshine Falls, before Libby has her third baby. And Nora has not had a lot of romance that's worked out in her life. And so they make a list of all the sister things they're going to do and during this month, and it's it's funny and touching, it's a story about, you know, loss and books plays such a central and huge role in it. So, as a book lover, I loved it. And so of course, Nora runs into a very good looking man named Charlie Lastra, who's also in New York City book editor she's been kind of competing with, and he really makes her question a lot of things about her life.

Tish Woods:

I love this, you know, you and I don't have sisters, you know, at least not not biological sisters. I think we have a whole, you know, group of friends that have feel like sisters, but there's something really unique about a sister relationship and how it changes over the years, you know, from when you were little and more competitive or something. And, but as you get older, and I think it's such an important thing, I think for women that have sisters, is to take time out to spend time with their sisters. I'm actually down at Myrtle Beach right now recording. And I'm with two sisters who are here, kind of spending that time together. And, you know, I think it's I think it's important in midlife to reconnect with your sisters, and figure out what that relationship really is. Don't let it don't let maybe some things of the past get to you. But redefine what that is and a little time away. The way to do it. So I love this book Book Lovers, kind of our holiday romance. I like

Ellen Gustafson:

it. Yeah, the holiday to Sunshine falls and I believe this fictitious town is in North Carolina. So I'm not sure if it's real or not, but in your neighborhood Tish

Tish Woods:

in my neighborhood. Okay, so that's our first selection. Now, what would be another selection that you would like our readers to consider?

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, the second book is called Violetta, and this is by an author Isabel Allende Have you read anything by her? Tish? No, I have not. Oh, she is amazing. And also local. She's local to the Bay Area. And I loved her other books called Paula and Daughter of Fortune, but she I think she has over 10 books. So you know, if you haven't checked her out before, you don't have to start with this book. There's many, many books, but I'm going to tell you this book did not disappoint me. You know, when there's an author with so many books, you think, can she top it and I really think she did. What's unique about this book is it's told in the form of a letter that the main character Violetta writes to someone she loves, it ends up being her grandson. And the format is so interesting then right from the start. It's really written in the form of a memoir and it goes from 1920 2020 So within gilded has,

Tish Woods:

yeah, I was gonna say don't they use COVID as part of the story,

Ellen Gustafson:

you're right they do. In the end, it's the time of COVID. And she's, the character is very old and needs to be isolated, you know, but it's the first book I read that had COVID as part of the story. So kind of interesting there too.

Tish Woods:

I love that I love an idea of a book that includes COVID, because I think it's had a huge impact on society and how we see things and what we value. So I love that that actually includes it really kind of dates the book to having that in there.

Ellen Gustafson:

It does, it does. But you know, there is everything in this book, poverty, wealth, alcoholism, love, you know, time in Spain during the Civil War, beautiful Latin American country, side city life, and we never find out what country it's in, at least I couldn't figure it out. It doesn't explicitly say, but it really spoke to me about a life of 100 years, this woman Violetta lives, to be at least 100. And so lucky, if you get to live that what you see in a lifetime, is amazing.

Tish Woods:

I love that I love that it spans so much time and so much history. And but yet it's it's a it's a memoir, or a letter to somebody young. So you know, that message. My My dad had written stuff that was left for all his grandchildren to read about them. Yes, there's something really powerful about leaving a little piece of your thoughts as a legacy, you know, to your children or your grandchildren. And at this point in our life, you know, I'm going to challenge our readers to do the same. You know, maybe you read this book, become inspired to write that memoir to your grandchildren. Yeah. You know, kind of what your views of what life was and how your how things change during your lifetime. I mean, we've seen an incredible amount of change in our lifetimes. And yeah, you know, just to put that down and speak that, you know, that's kind of amazing.

Ellen Gustafson:

I agree. I wish my mother or father had done that it would be so special. So I think that's a great thing to do, really leaving that that lasting memory. I just wanted to add one more thing about this character Violetta before we move on, you know, she's a woman in that time who became so strong, because she had to, and she ended up supporting herself. So we're talking about in the 1930s, and the 40s. And she made some bold and unbelievable choices with men. And just she was not defined by the time that she lived in. So if I could say a rare woman for her time, that is one of the things that I think really makes the book so special.

Tish Woods:

Again, another great reason to read this one. Yeah, to get some inspiration on being bold. Right? It's time be bold in your choices.

Ellen Gustafson:

I mean, this woman she was bold. So I say check out Violetta by Isabel Allende.

Tish Woods:

I love that. That sounds great.

Ellen Gustafson:

All right. So up next Tish, you are going to share a book with us? Let's go. Let's hear it.

Tish Woods:

Yes. So you had gifted me it came in the mail, a book called Rockaway. And I just love this book. Because you know, one of my big goals is to learn how to surf. That's right, doing all these things to build my core and build my strength. So I can actually do that pop up to learn how to surf. But this book Rockaway, it was such a fantastic story because it talks about a woman going through a divorce, and how surfing and being in that community really helped her rebuild her life and who she was, and how she got back in touch with what her passions were discovering new passions, really. But it it was really about a book of awakening, like what what do I do next? This is what I thought my life was going to be. It's not going to be that. Now what and right she did she took on things that were out of character for her and kept pushing herself and it wasn't like she was instantly great at it or anything. But boy she worked at In she never quit. And it was so inspirational. And she also, just not only was it the surfing but she relocates her community, she starts surrounding herself with new people that were bringing in new ideas. And what I really loved about her story was, she doesn't push it to happen fast. They think we live in such a society that we want it now now no change, change, change. But she let some things unfold over time. And she ended up with this life that she really wanted. And it you know, it really spoke to me in so many different ways.

Ellen Gustafson:

I am so glad. And you know what, I love a midlife reset story, right? I mean, I

Tish Woods:

think no, we do.

Ellen Gustafson:

But I also liked so much about the book, the physicality of surfing that she talks about. And I know that's a parallel to you, Tish, right that you really need to push yourself physically, to make that part of your surfing Dream Come, come true. And that part, that part I really enjoyed. And my book group read this a couple years ago, the author is Diane Cardwell, just in case people want to find it. And even if you're not interested in surfing, folks will enjoy the book, right?

Tish Woods:

Absolutely, absolutely. Like I said, it's a story about a woman who gets in touch with what she's what her next steps are effort after divorce, and how she rebuilds her world and figures out what she's really passionate about in her own right. So definitely a big read. And, you know, as I'm down here at the beach, watching the ocean, and I was doing my workout to build my core, because you know, I'm shooting for May, I'm shooting to do a lesson in May to learn how to surf. So I've been real big on the working out. And I worked out watching the waves this morning. So it was very special.

Ellen Gustafson:

That's so great. I know we'll be chatting in a future episode about this metabolic workout you and I have been doing as as part of this, getting ready to surf. So I'm so glad to see that you did that this morning.

Tish Woods:

I do want to move on. So what is number four read for today? What would be the next pack?

Ellen Gustafson:

Okay, so you know, this one is a little switch because many of these books focus on women. But this book is called Damond Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. Have you read any of her books? Tish? She's probably written 25. I don't even know I should have looked it up.

Tish Woods:

No, no.

Ellen Gustafson:

Another author for you to check out. So many great books. And I have been reading her books since the 1980s. I mean, she has so prolific and I was super excited for a new book from her, because I love her writing style. But this one was a surprise because she did her reimagination kind of Dickens, David Copperfield. So that was, you know, it's always interesting when you know that going in. I mean, again, the name of the book is is so close to David Copperfield.

Tish Woods:

Now, would you say that you if you haven't read Dickens, David Copperfield, you should read that first?

Ellen Gustafson:

No, I would say if you haven't read it, just Google the story line.

Tish Woods:

Get your cliff notes out the notes out of David Copperfield, exactly. But it would help a little bit to be a little familiar with that or re familiarize yourself. Okay.

Ellen Gustafson:

You know, just if you want to understand that parallel, even without knowing it, though, it is a fabulous book. It's set in southern Appalachia. And it's about a little boy born to a teenage single mother who's an addict, just a hardscrabble, tough way. And you fall in love with this boy and you follow him from his youth, through being stint as a football star through so many adventures through love, knee injury, opioid addiction, rehab, tragedy, victory. You know, it is just an amazing story of survival here in the United States. It's gritty.

Tish Woods:

You know, I think that is a story you hear a lot of, you know, I know sports is definitely a venue for a lot of people to get out of poverty. And I think a lot of successful athletes come out of that environment because, you know, they don't have a lot of options. And so they're willing to put the work in. So, but when it doesn't work out, then what happens? So it sounds like this book really talks about the whole thing and how he persevered through it all the ups and the downs. Yeah,

Ellen Gustafson:

I mean that football is a part for you so long, and he's an artist and, you know, I, I, it makes me think about all the kids that are put into foster care and feel, you know, just kind of dumped somewhere and how they can really what their life is like when you feel unwanted.

Tish Woods:

Hmm. Yeah, that's a that's a heart wrenching type story. But an interesting pick. Wow, I liked that one

Ellen Gustafson:

pick. Yes. Okay. Now,

Tish Woods:

we have one. Yeah. One more pick for us. Yeah, I do one at work for us.

Ellen Gustafson:

Okay, I mentioned this book earlier, when I said I went and got it at the library. It's called Memphis by Tara Stringfellow. And the great thing is, this is a debut novel. So her first novel out and it's so fabulous. It's a story of, of an African American family. And it goes through three generations of women, right, again, I love books like this telling a family story over many generations.

Tish Woods:

Okay, wow. I mean, nothing gets to, you know, that saga of generations and how they interact and the changes that happen. So tell us a little bit about the characters.

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, I loved the characters, Hazel, August, Maryam Joan, again, women we follow through trauma, through love through resilience, you know it. And again, it's not pretty at times. It's real. It's very real. And the other thing that I really enjoyed about this book is that I think the city of Memphis is like an another character. You know, I learned so much about Memphis, kind of about the culture of the city, itself. And I fell in love with the city. I'm gonna say, Tish, you want to meet me in Memphis at some point?

Tish Woods:

Oh, yeah, I'd love that. You know, it's one of those cities, I think that has such history, such you know, legacy in it. Now, this is a story about an African American family. Correct?

Ellen Gustafson:

It is. And you know what, it is hopeful. And it's heartbreaking, and it's real. And I think, you know, just a great pick for folks, again, to check out and I really, oh, go ahead.

Tish Woods:

I was gonna say, I think it's always important to read about somebody from a different cultural background, different economic background, you know, people who are just different, that live differently. And I think when you read these stories, you can appreciate maybe how they react to things today, you can understand it's that understanding, because you've walked their walk with them, even if it's just in a book, but you've walked their walk with them a little bit. And I think it's that understanding that can make us kinder to one another. So I think that's important when you read, you know, about different people's experiences. And I think that's one of the things that books, do they bring an understanding of someone else?

Ellen Gustafson:

I well said, well said, Okay, I'm just going to quickly go through three things that I've been reading honorable mentions, and then we're going to talk about a book you've been reading. So I

Tish Woods:

wait. First, I want to ask you a question. How many books do you read a month?

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, I'm gonna say I read three, three, okay. Three, yes.

Tish Woods:

You read them individually? Or do you read simultaneously?

Ellen Gustafson:

You know, most of the time, I would have a biography of some type, you know, with a bigger book that I come and go to, and on the fiction front, I would read the book, in its entirety without starting something else. But this last time I got such a bounty at the library. I kind of dove into three books at once to see which ones I like which one I liked the best to go with. So I've heard

Tish Woods:

avid readers do this. And it depends on the mood, what you're going to pick up for that day, but that they will bounce between some stories. So I was curious to ask you that because you always have such a really a eclectic variety of books that you're reading. So I had wondered that. But so what are you currently? What are you currently dabbling in right now?

Ellen Gustafson:

Well, I just wanted to recommend a book called Tiny Beautiful Things by the author who wrote Into the Wild that movie, Reese Witherspoon was in, I wanted to recommend the Paris Apartment. It's like a mystery thriller because I didn't have a mystery thriller on these, these five books we just went through by Lucy Foley at sent in Paris. So fast paced. And then I read a series called Vera Kelly. And each one has a little different, different of her on her name by Rosalie Knight, and 3. They're interesting reads, and she becomes like a CIA operative, and it's set in the 60s and 70s. So before cellphones and the Internet, I'd love books like that. And I'm a sucker for a series of books. Because once I read something, and I love it, I really always want more.

Tish Woods:

I love that. I've told you in the past that I tend to read once when I'm in a really good story. as I go along in the book, I read slower and slower, because I don't want to end, right, so maybe I should just read a series of books. So it keeps me going. But I literally, I become aware that I don't want to leave my characters. So I slow down. So like I savor it at the end. Like you're great. Why savor her a little?

Ellen Gustafson:

It's so funny. You say that? Because sometimes when I finish a book, I'm sad, like I lost a friend,

Tish Woods:

I lost a friend. Yes. Yes, you're so invested. That's when you know, you've read a good book, you're so invested in that character. And that's why I think like book groups are great, because your friendship can continue because you can talk to other people about

Ellen Gustafson:

it's so true. It's so true. All right. Well, I know you've been reading another book, why don't you tell us a little bit about this one,

Tish Woods:

right. So I've been reading a Money, a Memoir for Women, Emotions, and Cash. And it's a story. It's written in a story form, right? But it's basically about a book that are about women's relationship with money and all the mixed messages that women get about money, negative and positive, and about their financial security, and where, where the difficulties for women come up. And, you know, it starts off with this idea. We'll tell each other everything about like, you know, the new guy in our life, or sometimes even our sex lives. I mean, we're so open, but you don't talk to people about money. So a really good friend of mine, Constance Stegman, she, I was asking her, you know, talking about different, you know, topics for our podcast, and, and she's my money person, right? So she, she has her own business, and she helps people with all of her. She's considered a forensic accountant. But I mean, she's like an accountant on steroids. But so I was asking her like, you know, what could we do as an episode. And she suggested this, and it's so funny, because I see her in printed all over this book, because she's just the opposite. She wants women to be empowered with their finances, and to look at this stuff. And she said, she had a mentor who mentored her about money, you know, I think she was in her 30s. At the time, I wish I had had a mentor like that, because I'm basically who they write this book for, that you don't talk about money, and you don't set yourself up to have the proper amount of security. And so I'm really curious to get deeper into the book. You know, I'm just a few chapters in, but I think it's a conversation that we need to have in a future podcast about that women can start having honest conversations about money, what money can and can't do for you to stop giving control of money over to other people,

Ellen Gustafson:

right? What is security? What is security? around financial security? It's different for every person right.

Tish Woods:

Exactly, exactly. But I know we're gonna put links to all the books in our show notes today. So you don't worry about having to write notes down beforehand, but you can see our show notes and we'd love if we got some more feedback this time like we did last time and to share on our social media, you know, what are you reading you know what, what inspires you?

Ellen Gustafson:

I know that's right, keep reading mid lifers we let we'll love to hear what you're reading and till next time.

Tish Woods:

Till next time